I've moved to:
http://chrissypoop.livejournal.com
Gonna jump on the bandwagon and switch loyalties to livejournal! See u there!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
To: a friend
I suddenly was jolted awake this morning and when I checked the time, it was 6am. The first thing that came into my mind was YOU. Very uncharacteristic of me, I thought. Tried very hard to fall back asleep, attempting to rationalise how I would be bushed the next day if I don't get my sleep but all I was able to think about was you.
It was just hours ago before I received news about you. Honestly, it still hasnt sunken in yet. Or rather, I would choose not to let myself believe it is true. At the back of my head, I still want to continue believing that you're simply a friend, whom I've lost contact for quite some time but who I am sure is still around doing your own things. Delusion, you may call it but it certainly brings comfort to me.
That's why I am contemplating not to go tomorrow. Because when I see you lying in there, there is nowhere for me to seek refuge in.
Up till now, I am badly shaken by this whole thing. We often feel that youth is invincible. Ruth is absolutely right about this.
With youth, we feel like we can do anything. We want to travel half the globe before responsibilities kick in. We want to earn money to buy more clothes and makeup because we know we are beautiful. We know people envy us and are proud of that. Media elevates us. People around us are trying their best to be like us. BUT in our pursuit of all these, we forgot to appreciate because we only obsess about being appreciated.
We wax lyrical about us being in the prime of life but forget the fragility of it.
I could have been nicer to you. When you sms me "happy birthday" still every year after graduating from secondary school, I could have gone beyond a mere "thank you" and asked you about your life. I could have reciprocated your concern. Could have been less self-centred. When I look at the saga seeds you have given me that are beautifully contained in 5 bottles spelling my name "chris", I really could have been more thankful. I really could have been more touched instead of being wrapped up in my stupid stupid self centredness. I really could have been a lot more appreciative. A whole lot more.
Now, it hurts so much that I'm talking about all these in past tense. This is such a shock to me. A cold hard slap across my face.
My friend, thank you for humbling me and teaching me a valuable lesson, albeit simple, that I should never take anything for granted anymore because the precious gift of life can be seized away from us so easily. But sorry for learning this only now. When you're gone.
Qingrui, rest in peace. You are dearly missed.
It was just hours ago before I received news about you. Honestly, it still hasnt sunken in yet. Or rather, I would choose not to let myself believe it is true. At the back of my head, I still want to continue believing that you're simply a friend, whom I've lost contact for quite some time but who I am sure is still around doing your own things. Delusion, you may call it but it certainly brings comfort to me.
That's why I am contemplating not to go tomorrow. Because when I see you lying in there, there is nowhere for me to seek refuge in.
Up till now, I am badly shaken by this whole thing. We often feel that youth is invincible. Ruth is absolutely right about this.
With youth, we feel like we can do anything. We want to travel half the globe before responsibilities kick in. We want to earn money to buy more clothes and makeup because we know we are beautiful. We know people envy us and are proud of that. Media elevates us. People around us are trying their best to be like us. BUT in our pursuit of all these, we forgot to appreciate because we only obsess about being appreciated.
We wax lyrical about us being in the prime of life but forget the fragility of it.
I could have been nicer to you. When you sms me "happy birthday" still every year after graduating from secondary school, I could have gone beyond a mere "thank you" and asked you about your life. I could have reciprocated your concern. Could have been less self-centred. When I look at the saga seeds you have given me that are beautifully contained in 5 bottles spelling my name "chris", I really could have been more thankful. I really could have been more touched instead of being wrapped up in my stupid stupid self centredness. I really could have been a lot more appreciative. A whole lot more.
Now, it hurts so much that I'm talking about all these in past tense. This is such a shock to me. A cold hard slap across my face.
My friend, thank you for humbling me and teaching me a valuable lesson, albeit simple, that I should never take anything for granted anymore because the precious gift of life can be seized away from us so easily. But sorry for learning this only now. When you're gone.
Qingrui, rest in peace. You are dearly missed.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
An Irksome Bus Ride
I really HATE it when people thread on your toes (literally).
Especially when they do not apologise! UGH!
It happened to me TWICE in the most irksome bus trip to work today...
The first time happened when an elderly angmoh rushed helter skelter PAST MY LEFT FOOT to ask the uncle where British Embassy was. Being petty but rather forgiving towards the old people, I frowned a bit but decided I would be even more panicky if I was him and therefore graciously let it go.
BUT THE SECOND TIME WAS SO BAD.
After that angmoh stepped on my toes, I changed my standing position. Not because of him per se but mostly due to a not very sane middle aged man standing next to me. He totally squeezed in the evidently limited space between a girl and I and started talking softly to himself. I mean, he seems harmless but he was physically so close to me that it invaded my private space. EEKS. SO I relegated to a comfy little corner with a leaning board.
THEN as people start to alight, this kiasu auntie DASHED to grab the empty seat and while doing so, she completely planted her feet firmly on my right foot, one after another. IT HURTS LIKE MAD OK! This time, I really tsk-ed out loud and glared at her.
Why did she do that?! I admit I was eyeing that empty seat lah. But I was inwardly being rather irritated that there were too many old people in the bus. As tired as I was(10am in the morning ok!), I am not a teenager (I AM STILL 19!!!) who would SNATCH a seat from an elderly right?!
And mind you, it was an orchard stop and most of the people were alighting already which meant there were more empty seats than just the one that she was totally putting her whole life on getting AND there is absolutely no need to thread on the toes of this young girl who was already rather irritated that she's standing throughout from bukit batok to orchard because she had a heart kind enough to let the elderly have their seats first!
URRRGGHH!!!!!
I treat it as a calling for me to learn driving. If more people start stepping on my toes in buses, the quiet relaxed moments I enjoy during long bus journeys may just become meaningless. Driving to Johore Bahru when I think it's actually the road home VS having bodily scars on my toes and pedicure being chipped. The former does sound more palatable right?
Especially when they do not apologise! UGH!
It happened to me TWICE in the most irksome bus trip to work today...
The first time happened when an elderly angmoh rushed helter skelter PAST MY LEFT FOOT to ask the uncle where British Embassy was. Being petty but rather forgiving towards the old people, I frowned a bit but decided I would be even more panicky if I was him and therefore graciously let it go.
BUT THE SECOND TIME WAS SO BAD.
After that angmoh stepped on my toes, I changed my standing position. Not because of him per se but mostly due to a not very sane middle aged man standing next to me. He totally squeezed in the evidently limited space between a girl and I and started talking softly to himself. I mean, he seems harmless but he was physically so close to me that it invaded my private space. EEKS. SO I relegated to a comfy little corner with a leaning board.
THEN as people start to alight, this kiasu auntie DASHED to grab the empty seat and while doing so, she completely planted her feet firmly on my right foot, one after another. IT HURTS LIKE MAD OK! This time, I really tsk-ed out loud and glared at her.
Why did she do that?! I admit I was eyeing that empty seat lah. But I was inwardly being rather irritated that there were too many old people in the bus. As tired as I was(10am in the morning ok!), I am not a teenager (I AM STILL 19!!!) who would SNATCH a seat from an elderly right?!
And mind you, it was an orchard stop and most of the people were alighting already which meant there were more empty seats than just the one that she was totally putting her whole life on getting AND there is absolutely no need to thread on the toes of this young girl who was already rather irritated that she's standing throughout from bukit batok to orchard because she had a heart kind enough to let the elderly have their seats first!
URRRGGHH!!!!!
I treat it as a calling for me to learn driving. If more people start stepping on my toes in buses, the quiet relaxed moments I enjoy during long bus journeys may just become meaningless. Driving to Johore Bahru when I think it's actually the road home VS having bodily scars on my toes and pedicure being chipped. The former does sound more palatable right?
Friday, May 23, 2008
Good + Bad News
The pimples on my left cheek have grown from small islands into continents.
The sympathetic mosquitos circling above me (probably when I'm sleeping, I mean, who will allow that to happen when you're aware of it right?) feel sorry for this girl with a pimply left cheek and therefore attempt to showcase their love by kissing her.
There you go. Pimples which are like continents combined with mosquito bites. That equation will leave you with a complete globe. :(
I was thinking really hard about my outbreak. Why did it happen? When? Then I realised it's most likely when I experienced the intense relief and joy when we received the news that my mom only needs to undergo radiotheraphy and not chemo. Thus, I resort to my normal and most effective way of celebrating: eating loads and loads of junk food. This time ranging from dark chocolates, potato chips, chicken wings, etc. etc.
Sigh. And this is supposed to be an entry about how thankful and appreciative I am that my mom is ok. Sometimes I really wonder how these intentions morphed into such trivial concerns.
:(
But don't get me wrong. I'm still damn happy that my mom is ok. I really am and I really truly wooly love her. Thank God for blessing her :)
The sympathetic mosquitos circling above me (probably when I'm sleeping, I mean, who will allow that to happen when you're aware of it right?) feel sorry for this girl with a pimply left cheek and therefore attempt to showcase their love by kissing her.
There you go. Pimples which are like continents combined with mosquito bites. That equation will leave you with a complete globe. :(
I was thinking really hard about my outbreak. Why did it happen? When? Then I realised it's most likely when I experienced the intense relief and joy when we received the news that my mom only needs to undergo radiotheraphy and not chemo. Thus, I resort to my normal and most effective way of celebrating: eating loads and loads of junk food. This time ranging from dark chocolates, potato chips, chicken wings, etc. etc.
Sigh. And this is supposed to be an entry about how thankful and appreciative I am that my mom is ok. Sometimes I really wonder how these intentions morphed into such trivial concerns.
:(
But don't get me wrong. I'm still damn happy that my mom is ok. I really am and I really truly wooly love her. Thank God for blessing her :)
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Learning to appreciate
I've been getting my priorities wrong for quite some time. This definitely is a wake up call for me to cherish the person who loves me the most but whom I've taken for granted all the time.
I am glad I followed my heart and rejected SEP even though I was kicking myself all that time. Because God always has plans for me and his plans are much bigger and wiser than mine.
I'm gonna learn to stop hankering for what I don't have but instead, appreciate how lucky I am.
I am glad I followed my heart and rejected SEP even though I was kicking myself all that time. Because God always has plans for me and his plans are much bigger and wiser than mine.
I'm gonna learn to stop hankering for what I don't have but instead, appreciate how lucky I am.
Saturday, May 03, 2008
Corrinne May - Angel in Disguise
This is a lovely song. It makes me stop in my tracks and be more appreciative of everything around me, albeit simple. :)
Often, in search of our own fame and fortune oriented Paradise, we neglect the non-materialistic elements of it present in our everyday lives. Thus, I'd like to dedicate this to all my angels in disguise who have made me a happier person that I can ever be. :)
Often, in search of our own fame and fortune oriented Paradise, we neglect the non-materialistic elements of it present in our everyday lives. Thus, I'd like to dedicate this to all my angels in disguise who have made me a happier person that I can ever be. :)
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Headlines splashed all over Straits Times:
"Girl, 20, was shot by Mas Selamat"
The paper will go on to elaborate:
When Mas Selamat was sighted at Bt Batok, a NUS female undergraduate, *Susan (exact name was refused to be given by victim's mother due to intense embarrassment), pointed at him excitedly while screaming his name repeatedly.
"I tried to stop her but her whole face was red! She simply rushed towards him and gave him an affectionate hug as if he was Chad Michael Murray," said her best friend, a NTU undergraduate, who also refused to be named for reason similar to victim's mother.
That "Girl, 20" would be me lah! HAHA.
I mean, he is everywhere!
"Girl, 20, was shot by Mas Selamat"
The paper will go on to elaborate:
When Mas Selamat was sighted at Bt Batok, a NUS female undergraduate, *Susan (exact name was refused to be given by victim's mother due to intense embarrassment), pointed at him excitedly while screaming his name repeatedly.
"I tried to stop her but her whole face was red! She simply rushed towards him and gave him an affectionate hug as if he was Chad Michael Murray," said her best friend, a NTU undergraduate, who also refused to be named for reason similar to victim's mother.
That "Girl, 20" would be me lah! HAHA.
I mean, he is everywhere!
at the busstops, in the buses, on walls of hawker centres, HDB flats, NUS engin canteen...
Even though he's not that hot and all, but if you happen to see him upclose (choy!), it's natural for one to feel star-strucked then fearful right? He's even given more exposure than local gorgeous artistes such as Elvin Ng or Nathaniel Ho!
Wah. Now I really hope I won't be the one who see him. I really don't want my death to be so undignified. :/ And anyways, I think he's probably in some secluded island at Indonesia or something, sipping Teh-O as we speak.
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